"Excuse me, Sir."
"Is
that you again, Moses?"
"I'm
afraid it is, Sir."
"What
is it this time, Moses; more computer problems?"
"How
did you guess?"
"I
don't have to guess, Moses. Remember?"
"Oh,
yes; I forgot."
"Tell
me what you want, Moses."
"But
you already know; remember?"
"Moses!"
"Sorry,
Sir."
"Well,
go ahead, Moses; spit it out."
"Well,
I have a question, Sir. You know
those 'ten things' you sent me?"
"You
mean the Ten Commandments, Moses?"
"That's
it. I was wondering if they were
important."
"What
do you mean 'were important', Moses? Of
course, they are important. Otherwise,
I would not have sent them to you."
"Well
- sorry, Sir, but I lost them. I could say the dog ate them; but, of course, you
would see right through that."
"What
do you mean 'you lost them'? Are
you trying to tell me you didn't save them, Moses?"
"No,
Sir; I forgot."
"You
should always save, Moses."
"Yes,
I know. You told me that before. I
was going to, but I forgot. I did
send them to some people before I lost them though."
"And
did you hear back from any of them?"
"You
already know I did. What about the
one guy who said he never uses 'shalt not'?
May he change the words a little bit?"
"Yes,
Moses, as long as he does not change the meaning."
"And
what about the guy who thought your stance was a little harsh, and recommended
calling them the 'Ten Suggestions,' or letting people pick one or two to try for
a while?"
"Moses,
I will act like I did not hear that."
"I
think that means 'no.' Well, what
about the guy who said I was scamming him?"
"I
think the term is 'spamming,' Moses."
"Oh,
yes. I e-mailed him back and told him I don't even eat that stuff,
and I have no idea how you can send it to someone through a computer."
"And
what did he say?"
"You
know what he said. He used Your
name in vain. You don't think he
might have sent me one of those - er - plagues, and that's the reason I lost
those ten things, do you?"
"They
are called 'viruses,' Moses."
"Whatever!
This computer stuff is just too much for me.
Can we just go back to those stone tablets?
It was hard on my back taking them out and reading them each day, but at
least I never lost them."
"We
will do it the new way, Moses."
"I
was afraid you would say that, Sir."
"Moses,
what did I tell you to do if you messed up?"
"You
told me to hold up this rat and stretch it out toward the computer."
"It's
a mouse, Moses. Mouse!
Mouse! And did you do
that?"
"No,
I decided to try the technical support first.
After all, who knows more about this stuff than you, and I really like
your hours. By the way, Sir, did
Noah have two of these mice on the ark?"
"No,
Moses."
"One
other thing. Why did you not name
them 'frogs' instead of 'mice,' because did you not tell me the thing they sit
on is a pad?"
"I
did not name them, Moses. Man did,
and you can call yours a frog if you want to."
"Oh,
that explains it. Kind of like
Adam, huh, Sir? I bet some woman
told him to call it a mouse. After
all, was it not a woman who named one of the computers Apple?"
"Say
good night, Moses."
"Wait
a minute, Sir. I am stretching out
the mouse, and it seems to be working. Yes,
a couple of the 'ten things' have come back."
"Which
ones are they, Moses?"
"Let
me see. 'Thou shalt not steal from
any grave an image' and 'Thou shalt not uncover thy neighbor's wife.'"
"Turn
the computer off, Moses. I'm sending you another set of stone tablets."